What are you going to do? Easy. You check out this rundown of awesome game features that absolutely definitely *have* to be in the sequel. It's an essential laundry list for imaginary game developers everywhere...
More weapons
Never mind that players only made use of one of the 200 available weapons when they rattled through the first game. If the sequel doesn't contain at least 20% more things that kill and go bang then it has failed and will be ridiculed. Chainsaws, flamethrowers, and grenade variants (like sticky grenades and pipe bombs) all make really good sequel weapons. Oh yeah, and shields. Shields are always a good bet for sequels.
Bigger environments
Whoever heard of a sequel with a fully-realised organic sandbox open world that's half the size of the original? No one. Because it doesn't happen.
Customization
Players like making hideous looking characters with pink afros and magnetically opposed eyeballs. So if it didn't make the first game, be sure to throw customization into the mixer. And if it did make the first game, just give players the option to customize the shit out of everything else. Rooms. Armour. Vehicles. Everything.
Something that is 'overhauled'
It doesn't matter what. Combat system, physics, front-end interface, mip-mapping transponderating flim-flam... whatever. As long as the press-release or back-of-the-box mentions that *something* has been 'overhauled', 'rebuilt from the ground up' or 'completely reworked', you can make some ambiguous claim that the action has been 'taken to the next level' or is 'even more intense'. Gamers will subconsciously play the game thinking that something drastic has changed. And no-one will remember what the 'overhauled' thing was like in the first place anyway.
Swimming
Walking, running, jumping, crouching... they're all physical-based abilities introduced in the first game. Swimming, however, is strictly reserved for the sequel. This is because swimming animations are hard to do, so the animator dude will be grateful for the extra time to work on those tricky arm movements.
Multiplayer
If the single-player's great, then some obligatory multiplayer and co-op options will be even more great. Everyone knows that more people equals more fun. Right? Just ensure that alongside the usual, predictable gubbins - like King of the Hill and Capture the Flag - you also throw in some new, exciting sounding one-word modes. A lot of the best words have already been snagged - like Assassination, Extraction, Demolition, Execution and Domination - but there are lots of other suitable words out there. Exfoliation, Decapitation, Lubrication, and Defecation. That's four that we just thought of without really thinking about it too hard. But we know they'd all make really great multiplayer modes.
New love interest
Nothing is more of a turn-off for gamers than seeing their virtual hero knocking about with the same shag sack for more than one game. The main character should embody a player's own aspirations. I to the E - having multiple encounters with many different opposite-sex partners. A steady relationship isn't what gamers want from their leading characters. They want a different love interest/nice bit of eye candy for every new game. Starting with the sequel.
New and exciting modes of transport
Any developer that neglects to include motorbikes in the sequel is admitting that they have zero idea about what gamers want. If a series extends beyond one release then the inclusion of motorbikes is compulsory. It's the first thing they teach at the school of how to make games. Of course, if a 1000cc Kawazaki doesn't fit the context of the game, motorbikes can be replaced with dragons, skidoos, ornithopters or a rip off of those bike things that the Ewoks can't control for shit in Return of the Jedi.
GR rox!
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